Little spoons don't ask big questions
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
