so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
