She said her name was "party"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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