you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
