You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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