All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
