have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
