Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
