we have officially lost it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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