I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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