Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
