i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
