i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
