forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
