I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
