coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
