just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
