On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
