Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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