So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
