Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In other news, I just burned my penis
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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