turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
only you would photoshop your dick
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
