I'm lost and stupid without you.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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