The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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