I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Too much gin, very little bucket
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
