reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
