she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
