You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
