dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well you can't waste a boner
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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