Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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