I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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