Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
