Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You know, be my cock's hype man.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I enjoy the company of your penis
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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