I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
