She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
