I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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