i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
