I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
