Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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