My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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