so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i came on her dog
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
