Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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