just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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