Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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