I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
