exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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