His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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