Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
