Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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