I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
